Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay.

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. ~Matthew 5:5, The Message

You know that feeling of self-doubt? That nudging from the inner critic that calls you out saying “who do you think you’re fooling?”

Maybe that self-doubt is amplified by certain people in your life, those who don’t “get you” or don’t want to get you. You can’t get that person’s words out of your head? That last encounter weighs on you? You feel hurt, sad, misunderstood?

Our work to be content with who we are is stacked against us. We strive daily to be our best – in our relationships, in our work, in our families, in our friendships, (in our art if we are artists) – and yet, no matter how hard we work, one negative can spin our minds around. Perhaps we respond by retreating into ourselves – getting into a funk that’s hard to get out of. Maybe we lash out against the people who care about us – creating more negatives that spiral out of hand.

No matter how you react to the negativity though, we are still stuck with ourselves. We can retreat or lash out – but ultimately- those acts don’t serve us. We don’t find our worth by hiding or taking our problems out on other people.

So what do we need to do? 

When the inner and outer critics descend and we lose ourselves, I propose a very simple solution:


Have you heard of the 5:1 ratio?

For every negative comments/interactions you receive, you need 5 positive comments/interactions to counteract the negative. 5:1! Find your five!

That’s right, seek out your five with intention and determination – lift up your head, get out of the house and actively seek out your five.  Call upon your five absolutes – our peeps, places, foods, etc. – that never fails to cheer us up and use them to put you into a more positive head space.

In no particular order – I’m listing the most recent five I used when I was retreating after a hard conversation.

  1. I called that particular friend that always knows how to make me laugh while filling the wine glass.
  2. I hiked to my power spot place in nature that always lifts me  up.
  3. I took out my paints and a fresh canvas – and I painted while listening to Lady Gaga.
  4. I cooked a birthday meal for a close friend.
  5. I trekked to my favorite art gallery and looked at brightly colored art.

It’s only by releasing the negative that we can release the energies within that help us create, love, and lift others up.

Seek out your five positives and find self-contentment. Let go of the negative. You are strong and glorious. Be your Light! And….journey on.

Find your five today!

You are blessed!


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