XOXOX Blog: Where Art & Spirit Intersect

Rinnie Orr August 9, 2020

The Artistic Process

Becoming “Braver and Bolder”

Time for truth:
I have a closet full of “bad art” – art I’ve created over the years – art taking up premium shelf space and collecting dust. There’s no reason to keep my “rejects.” Chances are I will never show these pieces to many others. I don’t “appreciate” them except as failed experiments in my journey to become an artist. By holding on to these pieces and pulling them out time to time, I use them simply to remember where I’ve been. The artist’s journey is full of ups and downs. These paintings, stacked up, inside of my closet are simply snapshots of the struggles of becoming an artist.

Becoming an artist:
Over the years, I’ve learned painting is really challenging. It’s not necessarily easy. You don’t simply dip a paintbrush into the paint, move the paint around the canvas, and suddenly have a good painting. It takes work, skill and confidence. In my case, I painted seven to eight years before finding my visual voice. It was a process to move beyond “dabbling” to becoming an artist in my own right.

Becoming an “artist” happened for me when the focus became more about the process, rather than the end product. It took me years to realize that the art is not about the end result or product. Art was not the finished piece. As I gradually let go of the end result, doing art became less challenging and more freeing. It was about falling in love with the process, and moving beyond the end result.

“Art is not about the finished product. Art is about the process and the conversation happening during and after the product is finished.”

Finding your artistic voice:
I belong to five or six artist groups on social media – places where people post their art, share tips, ask questions and share their struggles with others on the forums. Recently, my heart broke when somebody wrote a post “I’m giving up. My art sucks. Nobody likes my art. There’s so much other good art out here. I can’t do this anymore.”

I know this frustration, in my own artistic life, but I’ve learned to overcome by perseverance. The way to finding your own authentic, artistic voice is just to continue on – keep creating. It’s in the act of creation where the magic happens. That’s why it’s important to persevere. If you have a deep and creative spirit and drive to engage the process – you WILL find your own voice, stand strong and say with authority “This is my art – this is my creation.”

No matter if you are a visual artist, a musician, an actor, a poet, a writer, when you are open to the process, you will become braver and your work will be bolder. You will be more courageous, not simply in your art, but in all your endeavors and achievements. You will open up to a journey you never expected to take.

So...don’t give up!
And this, my dear friend, is why we are here – to be strong, brave and courageous in all we do! This crazy, beautiful, cruel and fucked up world needs us. Be strong! Be brave! And create on….

Peace, my friends!

XOXOX

Seeking conversation and collaboration to a bolder more authentic creative life? Let’s talk. Fill out my Creative Life Survey and let’s begin a conversation on how I can help!

Rinnie Orr June 27, 2020

Meditations for divided times, Musings art, co-creator, collaborative conversation partners, conclusion, covid, Deep spirited friends, discernment, gratitude, hope, intention, isolation, planting the seeds, service, serving others, vision

“Planting the Seeds: A Conclusion…for now anyway….

Image by Anrita1705 from Pixabay

Dear fellow journeyers,

Thank you for following the Planting the Seeds blog series. As of this post, I am wrapping up and bringing this blog series to an end.

I appreciate that you’ve been journeying with me the past few months, through Covid, isolation and quarantine, grief, loss, rallies for justice and black lives, financial and health insecurities and so much more.

I haven’t been writing the past couple weeks, as I’ve been in major discernment to determine where I’m being led in my life and career right now – making major decisions about where my energy and focus should be. Truthfully, I have been holding my breath since May 15. I feel I am finally able to let go and can now step into a new mid-life career for myself that feels right.

While I do the work to embrace my new career path, I find that I am also given a vision for my artistic life as well.

When I started my blog last year, it was my intention to write mostly on the intersection of art and spirituality. As I finish up the Planting the Seeds series, I am going to be shifting my blogging once more to my original focus. I am working with a web designer and hope to soon reveal a new XOXOX art website – with more art, more blogging, and more ways I can be of service to the world as an artist.

It’s my hope that I will be teaching art classes to help people find their visual voice, overcome the inner critic and the criticisms from other people, fear of showing their art and more. I am dreaming of some fairly big projects. I’m taking baby steps right of planning and visioning right now. So…please stay tuned.

Also, for many of us, Covid has been a disruptor. I will not be alone in rebuilding community once this is over and we can move into community again. I hope to be on the front lines of community building – helping others, as well, who are searching for connection and authentic community. I will offer myself as a co-creator and collaborative conversation partner to any and all who are desiring a new path forward toward creation of a new world as we move tentatively into community with one another again.

During the early days of the covid quarantine, I felt like I was on sabbatical. Through grace I given the time to read, focus and ground myself in foundational ideals around leadership and community building. I learned so much and am determined that the time spent in study will not be in vain by taking that work into community again.

I hope you will continue to journey with me.

One last thing – the past few weeks have been some of the most difficult I’ve ever experienced, but my faith and hope were sustained through the prayers, efforts and support of many deep spirited friends and family members. I love you all so much and just wanted to publicly share my gratitude. You know who you are. Words can’t express, so here’s a video for you. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If you like what you read, consider helping me grow my audience by subscribing to the blog, as well as sharing on your social media. Also, let me know what you think, by posting a reply to the article. Your engagement helps me to know who my audience is and how my messages can serve you. Peace and blessing, and thank you for journeying with me!

Stay connected! Stay strong! If you are in need of prayer or anything else I can help with, please don’t hesitate to reach out! Blessings and peace to you.

Rinnie Orr June 12, 2020

Meditations for divided times, Musings anti-racism, covid19, cultivating collaborative friendships, hope, planting the seeds, racism, Virtual Book Clubs

“Planting the Seeds of Hope, part 2: Cultivating Collaborative Friendships”

Last week, I wrote about hope, or rather, I wrote about dreaming hope into the world. It’s been a wild week and I’ve been fortunate to find myself in many deep, raw conversations about hope and change.

I’ve been writing since the pandemic sequestered us all at home in March, that for many of us there’s a sense that a “normal” life is no longer possible. The time of quarantine has in some sense been a “blessing” in that we are thinking about life, how we live, and why we do the things we do in a new way.

Witnessing the people the past couple weeks – you and I and millions of others – take to the streets and demand changes to the systemic violence and racism of policing is an example of this. The pandemic still calls for social distancing and isolation, but we are willing to come out of our homes – and we are willing to make a stand. We are willing to take action. It’s our hope that when there is a vaccine – and when we come together again in community – that we will enter a new world where we can systematically dismantle the racist systems that harm all of us.

In my conversations the past couple weeks with friends, I hear many people saying “where do we go from here?” As we are still scattered, sequestered at home and in isolation, many are turning to social media, webinars, and other arenas on social media to engage in conversation.

I’m really encouraged that people are talking to each other, and I also want to create space as well for aiding and helping people connect on issues that really matter to all of us. So…to do so…through XOXOX Art Studio, I’m creating:

VIRTUAL BOOK CLUBS

The goal of the book clubs are to cultivate collaborative friendships to aid us in real conversations on topics that matter to people the most right now.

Anti-racism book club: Starting Tuesday, June 16 at 7 pm EST – we will start out the book club reading two books “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker” by Damon Young, and “I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness” by Austin Channing Brown.

Braving the Wilderness book club: Starting Wednesday, June 17 at 7 pm EST – we will read the book “Braving the Wilderness” by Brené Brown. We will use the work of Brené Brown to talk about courage and vulnerability in our lives, relationships, and in our leadership in creating a new world.

Building Community book club will begin on Sunday, June 21 at 4 pm EST. We will look at the book “Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World,” by Vivek H. Murthy, MD – 19th Surgeon General of the U.S. – a fascinating read about the healing power of connection and community.

Please join me in one or all of these book clubs. We’ll meet weekly through the end of July. Please feel free to contact me for more information: sistersunni@gmail.com. We will use Google Meet to join each other in conversation.

As always!
XOXOX

~~Friends, Isolation can take it’s toll on all of us. We’re still social distancing and I still hold y’all in my prayers. As always, stay strong, stay connected and if you need prayers, drop me a line.

Rinnie Orr June 2, 2020

Meditations for divided times, Musings Ahmaud Arbery, anger, anti-racism, betrayal, cicadas, come dream with me, covid19, dream, dreaming is all I can do, George Floyd, hope, last three months, planting the seeds, racism, Romans 15:13, so fucking tired, Some Good News

“Planting the Seeds of Hope, part 1: Let’s dream – dear ones – let’s dream!”

Image by Anja🤗#helpinghands #solidarity#stays healthy🙏 from Pixabay

Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!
~Romans, 15:13, The Message Bible

“The last three months have been the longest I’ve ever seen!”

Let us recap:

In March, we began social-distancing and quarantining in order to flatten the curve – in service to those doctors, nurses, healthcare workers, and first responders on the frontlines. Businesses, non-profits, restaurants, schools. churches and more temporarily closed their doors. People all over the country began to lose jobs – almost 20 million in two weeks. Unemployment claims began pouring in.

April highlights included confirmed cases of Covid-19 surpassing 3 million worldwide – with the U.S. having 1/3 of all new cases. By April 28 death toll in U.S. of 58,365 surpasses that of US soldiers killed in Vietnam War – with brown and black people disproportionately affected by the virus. John Krasinski debuts Some Good News, a feel good, cryfest youtube show adored by millions while we stayed home in quarantine. US Department of Defense releases three declassified videos of possible UFOs from 2004 and 2015. People in quarantine begin to push back, rushing out to protest in bully tactics, armed and threatening.

And May…oh, May…how to count the pain you’ve brought last month. A white father and son were arrested for the murder of Ahmaud Arbery (a black man) in Brunswick, Georgia, after the video of how Arbery was chased and killed down. 20 more million people out of work, turning to the government for assistance (myself one of them). I see an almost violent confrontation at Walmart with a man demanding entrance during senior time at 6:30 am. A Target employee gets an arm broken when two men attack after being told to wear masks. More spikes in Covid-19 as more people strike out in resistance to stay at home orders. John Krasinki sells Some Good News to Viacom for millions of dollars, cashing in at our expense.

And let me write about another murder of another black man (this time George Floyd) by a police officer in Minnesota. “It’s a difficult time to be black in America,” says an African-American friend of mine when I ask “How are you?” last weekend. Protests and riots erupt all over the U.S. this past week.

And let’s not forget about the cicadas! According to scientists from Virginia Tech, millions of cicadas in a once in 17-year event are about to emerge from the earth – posing crop danger and noise issues.

Of course, there will be cicadas, of course.

Plus, those of us who are unlucky to live alone during these days haven’t had a real solid hug from anyone in three months. But hey…who’s counting right?

Will June bring some hope?

“Where’s the hope? It feels like a dream?”

It’s so hard to sleep these days. I toss and turn and I wonder, cry, pray, and dream of more hopeful days. And I find it difficult to turn to scripture right now – while I struggle with the betrayal from and loss of the church to which I gave 15 years of faithful service. But this morning, as I write, I do turn to Romans and the words of Paul, and what I read is not really a testimony that’s truth based, but rather simply a “dream” – a dream that we can be filled with joy and peace. A dream to be filled with the life-giving energy that is hope. I don’t feel hope right now. I’m so fucking tired and afraid and drained. Hope is very elusive right now. So far away from the reality that is my world.

I don’t feel hope, so I’m dreaming it right now. Dreaming is all I can do, and, dear friends, I’m dreaming it with every little bit of fiber that still kicks in my heart and mind. I’m dreaming it with every tense and angry muscle in my body. I’m dreaming it with every stroke of my keyboard at my fingertips. I’m dreaming it through the fear, the betrayal, the tears, the news, the murders, the anger, the hatred, the ridiculous, and the pain that so many of us are feeling right now. I am simply fucking dreaming it.

The activist and feminist Gloria Steinem once said
“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”

So I’m dreaming. And I’m planting seeds, and I’m planning. I’m starting a business soon. I am taking all the steps toward getting that business off the ground.

I am dreaming. And I’m planning – and I am transforming myself – in every way possible to be that person who can speak the truth I now know: that our world, our institutions, our schools, our churches, and our souls need new dreams. We need a new reality. We need new systems and we need new leadership to emerge out of all the cluster-fuck of a life we’ve been living the past three months. We need leadership that’s creative, innovative, and collaborative in this dangerous and gritty world. And maybe, through hard work and determination and so much dreaming, maybe then, I will start feeling the hope.

So…dear ones, come dream with me! Come plan with me! Let’s shape a new reality so that hope itself isn’t just a dream. Let’s create a world together, where that life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope for each and every one of us.

May it be so…

XOXOX

A note: Why, from here on out, I am grounding my work in anti-racism:

True leadership to change the world cannot happen in our country and in our world without leaders committing to anti-racism. If we desire a better world and better leadership, we can’t get there without a firm realization that who we are and take for granted as white people is all built upon labor of our brown and black brothers and sisters.

Systemic racism resides at the heart of all our industry, entertainment, religious, financial, political structures. We cannot bring real change into our world without committing to the work of anti-racism.

We cannot.

Let us be bold, brave, courage leaders and TOGETHER, let’s take a stand and action against overt and covert white supremacy.

~~Friends, as always, I hold you all in deep prayer. Do not let yourselves become isolated during this time. Reach out and continue to connect as much as you can. Fear, anxiety and isolation can take it’s toll. Stay strong. Stay connected. Need prayers – drop me a line.~~

Rinnie Orr May 24, 2020

Meditations for divided times, Musings alone during pandemic, Deep spirited friends, gratitude, help one another, hugs, lend a hand, love, new season, picking up the pieces, reach out, riding the storm

Planting the Seeds of Love, part 3: “Being Deep Spirited Friends”

Image by Ionas Nicolae from Pixabay

If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.
~Philippians 2:1-4, The Message Bible

Dang, I want a hug!

Since mid-March, I’ve had three hugs from another human being. I’ve hugged some trees while hiking trails, as well as puppy time when kind friends brought their dog to play with me. Before the pandemic, I was a hugger. I don’t know how many hugs I’d pass out on Sunday’s to my church family – many of whom deliberately going out of their way to receive/give a Sunday hug with me. I think about these friends every Sunday now. Wishing I could be in worship with them.

I’m one of the unlucky ones, living alone during a pandemic. Life in quarantine has been difficult. It’s been draining. It’s been tiring. I received devastating news last week. Living in pandemic times probably amplified the news, because I have no one around to hug and hold onto.

Whereas I might talk with two or three people a day, there’s still that moment, as I get ready for bed, when I think “life would be so much easier with a hug.”

Deep Spirited Friends

In his epistles, the Apostle Paul writes about how we live, how we care for one another in community of believers, of followers of Christ. We are to lend a hand, put ourselves aside, and help one another. This call to the heart of the gospel has been what I’ve been writing about and reflecting on since the pandemic started.

We are being asked to be new people right now – using all our strength and fortitude as people of faith – to embrace ALL in love and help each other out.

We are being asked to live the heart of the gospel – to give over to LOVE.

To give over to LOVE we must be deeply spirited in our hearts. We must care and be giving. We must put our selfish interests aside.

We are not called to throw one another to the curb.
We are called to lend a hand.

We don’t abandon each other.
We reach out and help one another.

We don’t forget one another.
Instead, Paul calls us to be “deep spirited friends.” And this is all I want to be right now – a deep spirited friend – and walk with you – and change the world by embracing LOVE with new zeal and gusto.

Picking Up the Pieces

Life as we knew it a couple months now is gone. We are still out here riding the storm of change. There’s loss. There’s grief. There will be great challenges ahead when we come together to rebuild community. Some communities are shattered completely.

I no longer have a church community to call home. I have to begin again and rebuild community for myself. If I’m lucky and intentional, I might be able to find engaging ways to stay connected with friends and loved ones from my old church. But I also have a business to build, so…we’ll see…

So many challenges ahead.

But, tonight, this truth I do know – we aren’t alone. God is walking with us, and still calling forth a new season – with LOVE first and foremost at the center.

I’m still in deep prayer for each and every one of you, and I’m waiting out this storm with you. As always, if you need a friend, I’m here. I will embrace you with as much love I can, even if it’s a hug 6 feet at a distance.

Gratitude for Deep Spirited Friends

I have so much gratitude, and so much love in my heart today, for those deep spirited friends, who have reached out and lifted me up. Those who have held me deep in their hearts this past week, through my grief, when they couldn’t reach out and hold me close for real.

I hope, dear friends, you will continue to journey with me.

I will get back on my feet, and I will still be planting the seeds as we continue cultivating a new world in God’s garden. And when we begin to rebuild our communities and our world, I will be there with you, tending the seeds and watching them bear fruit.

XOXOX

Stay strong. Stay connected. Need prayers – drop me a line.~~

Rinnie Orr May 16, 2020

Musings, Uncategorized becoming un-tethered, energy, freedom, grace, grief, primal scream, self potential, thanksgiving

“Grieved, yet Un-tethered…”

Image by Richard Mcall from Pixabay

This morning, these things I know are true:

The world has radically changed in the past few months.
Many of us are not the same people we were two months ago going into quarantine.
Many, many people are suffering now.
Grief is real, raw and fierce.
We need to show up for one another and be with one another through the grief and struggle.

I lost my job of 15 years a couple days ago. I can’t even begin to share how raw I feel.

I do know I’m feeling grief and it’s a real fucking energy, y’all…

This morning, this I know is true: Through grief, we can swim and be transformed.

Maybe we slow down more. Quiet our minds, sit in stillness.

Or maybe, just maybe, we rage. Taking our colors, splash them all over the canvas and simply let out primal screams and go on attack.

Or maybe, we realize that the life we lost really didn’t hold real meaning anymore anyway. That with the un-tethering comes real, honest to goodness knowledge that our true selves and passions were being stifled.

Perhaps, like me, you are now free and un-tethered by the very hands and chains that held us back from realizing our full self and potential.

Maybe today, we can wake up with a vision of what we are worth and what we have the potential to really give and create in the world.

The un-tethering releases energy we didn’t even know we have, bringing insight and vision to possibilities we didn’t even know existed.

In all those maybes, there is a quiet realized grace, that we are all more than we ever realized.

For the grief, I give thanks.

I am released.

I am free.

Stay tuned…exciting news to come!

Fellow Traveler,

Thank you for traveling with me. If you like what you read, consider helping me grow my audience by subscribing to the blog, as well as sharing on your social media. My intended audience are artists, as well as spiritual seekers of all traditions, even though my own personal study has been in the Christian spiritual traditions.

Also, if you please, let me know what you think, by posting a reply to the article. Your engagement helps me to know who my audience is and how my messages can best serve you.

Peace and blessing on your journey! As always you are in my heart!

Rinnie Orr May 5, 2020

Meditations for divided times, Musings anxiety, grounding, love, love trusts, never give up, planting the seeds, prayer, stuck at home, synergy, time in gardens, time in nature, working from home

“Planting the Seeds of Love, part 2: Grounding, not Grumbling”

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
~1 Corinthians 13:3-7, The Message Bible

Love doesn’t want…

I confess that I felt a certain defeat on March 15, when the pastor of the church where I work said to the staff “Go home. We’re working from home.” Up until then, we were working 6 feet apart, dancing around one another not to crowd or be in anyone’s space. This announcement uprooted me, and my response was one of worry and anxiousness.

The Apostle Paul, in 1st Corinthians makes a list of what love isn’t and what love doesn’t do. One point on the list is “Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.”

When we closed the office and began working from home, I remember my first thought was “I’m going to go crazy.” How will I be able to work from home? My work involved building community, and helping people make connections. How can I do this without people around to talk to?

I worried, I fretted. I wrestled with anxiety, unfocused energy, some sleeplessness. I often grumbled to myself. Sadly, I felt myself suddenly and helplessly alone. And I wanted much for a while – a roommate, a social life, my office space, collaborating partners, as well as peace of mind and spirit.

Love trusts…becoming grounded

Today, it’s May 5 – almost two months working from home. While I miss the office, the work flow, the conversations over tea and coffee, the laughter, the smiles and small encouragements – with wonderment – a certain feeling of groundedness has settled in. Perhaps it’s the time spent in nature, hiking around Hillsborough and Duke Forest, or spending time in gardens around the Triangle, I feel fine, almost like I’m on a sabbatical of sorts, where there’s more time for my work life balance to synergize. There’s more time to read, study and reflect on theological and spiritual authors I’ve only skimmed the past few years. Creative, artist energies have made themselves present in my work. And….more importantly…

….spiritually, I feel open to a relationship with God that’s been on the margin for many years now. I see that Love is alive and at work within my soul – my spirit is soaring. Like the roots of the trees digging deep within the earth, my feet are on solid ground. Like branches reaching up to the heavens, my arms stretch up and invite Love in.

There is renewed trust in God, and I am looking for the best to come out of this. Healing has happened for myself in a way I never expected, and I hope this will be an exciting time to move forward, in love, with the grace of all that is holy.

We Are All in This Together!

I share all this with you, dear readers – humbly – as I know that this time is different for all of us. I know that I’m a person with particular privilege to be able to have this time for growth and healing, when so many are having a difficult time and suffering. In a spirit of hope I share with you as it’s my prayer that from deep within that we can embrace one another and be there to help one another. It’s with this spirit I share, as I hope that maybe my words can bring some joy and peace of mind to someone who needs uplifting.

Deep in Prayer

I am in prayer, dear reader, for you and for us all! God’s love is vast, and God’s love does not give up. In this spirit, let’s not give up on ourselves and others.

**Simply Pray**: Weekly I make time to paint the prayers of our community into painting, and weekly, I paint another layer of color over the cross and background. The cross now has been repainted several times over in layers of paint. This is not a finished art project. I will continue to add prayers, paint and layers to this painting until we are out of quarantine and back in community.
**Simply Hope:** An art project with students of my friend Soteria, where we incorporated our prayers of hope, peace, joy, love, life, and earth into individual art projects. Also, a work in progress.

If you need prayer and encouragement, please feel free to let me know. We’re in this together!

Much peace and many blessings, to you and yours, fellow traveler.

XOXOX

~~Friends, do not let yourselves become too isolated during this time. Reach out and continue to connect as much as you can. Fear, anxiety and isolation can take it’s toll. Stay strong. Stay connected. Need prayers – drop me a line.~~

Rinnie Orr May 3, 2020

Hospitality as Spiritual Practice, Meditations for divided times, Musings armed militia, Christianity of domination, Christianity of love and liberation, Christianity of white supremacy, community prayers, expressed in love, garden, God, grapes, holy grapes, hope, love, prayers, puppy kisses, same storm different boats, scripture, solo worship, solo worship experience, wave of protesters, we are in this together

“Expressed in Love…”

A Holy Grapes Solo Worship Experience

PRELUDE

Today’s garden is in Raleigh, at the house of my friends Patrick and Caroline. Patrick has a small vegetable beds of tomatoes, cucumbers, and pepper seedlings. And mint – a whole bed – full of mint.

I’m grateful to get out of my house, drive and spend some time with friends. They also haven’t been going out, except for the weekly grocery store run. We sit outside on their back porch, soaking up the sun rays. Their dog Sally jumps into my lap and lays on me for a long while. Once in while she gives puppy kisses on my cheeks. My first real physical contact with another creature in many weeks. It feels good and hopeful.

For a couple hours, I get a mini-vacation from my house. Caroline’s loving muffins, straight out of the oven. Patrick’s bugle and lute playing. Sally’s puppy kisses. Conversation about life before and during the storm. Kindnesses draped in loving concern, and virtual hugs.

TODAY’S READINGS

What matters is…faith expressed in love.
Galatians 5:6, The Message Bible

God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don’t throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Psalm 51: 10-12, The Message Bible

IN GOD’S GARDEN

Living alone – no mate, no pets – hasn’t been easy. At times it feels too much. Lost in my own thoughts, I’ve turned to spiritual reflection, my art and writing projects to keep my mind occupied and busy. But I’m lost in my own thoughts much of the time, still riding the storm, not knowing what the other side will look like.

I wrestled with the visit to Raleigh to see Patrick and Caroline. Before I set out, the three of us talked on the phone about the past couple weeks – where we’ve been, who we’ve had contact with. Friendship – up close and personal – seems a risk. Yet, together, we navigated the visit, with thoughtfulness and with intention.” It’s a risk we agree to take. “We are in it together.”

This week, we saw a wave of protesting across the country over the stay-at-home restrictions – accumulating in an armed militia swarming the halls of Michigan’s state capital. Upon seeing those images, I shuddered. For some, the phrase “we are in this together” mean nothing. They swarm, they intimidate, and they threaten. It’s freaking scary! We may all be in the same storm, but they are certainly driving different boats, and they wish to sink the boats of others to get what they want.

I suspect that many of these people identify as Christians, but it’s the Christianity of domination and white supremacy, not the Christianity of love and liberation. In the Epistle to the Galatians, Paul the Apostle writes “What matters is…faith expressed in love.” I do not see love expressed in the actions of these protesters. I just see hate, and a desire to bully and intimidate.

After this week, it seems imperative more than ever that we embrace love as the foundation of our faith – a fierce love that can solidify us against hate. A love that will stand up to the hatemongers and angry crowds. A love rooted in kindness and recognition that we are all one human tribe. A love bringing us back from “gray exile” and putting “a fresh wind” in our sails as we navigate this storm together. A love solid enough to withstand the boats driven by hate and bullies, on the stormy waves we live on these days.

“From Power to Love”

A response, excerpted from Conscious Femininity” by Marion Woodman

“When I picture this vulnerable little ball turning in the universe…I’m convinced that consciousness is trying to move from power to love.

May it be so…

THE PRAYERS

Oh God, our source of Love and Strength, we pray for much so many and ask your mercy for those who:

….are suffering from financial loss and worry about putting food on their tables. May your Love surround them.

...work and live in the hotbeds of the pandemic – the nursing homes, the prisons, and the meat packing plants. May your Love surround them.

…are protesting through intimidation and bully tactics. May your Love surround them.

…are speaking words of truth and love, standing up to the hate and intimidation. May your Love surround them.

…are experiencing the loss of a loved one this week. May your Love surround them.

And let us remember and continue praying for:

those within our communities facing surgeries and new diagnoses requiring medical treatments,
the children still separated from their parents at our borders,
our brothers and sisters experiencing incarceration, in need of medical attention and supplies,
new parents and new babies being born right now,
all those out of work, rethinking vocation and careers during these days,
the first responders, doctors, nurses, paramedics, working tirelessly on the front lines,
our religious and spiritual leaders and pastors, working to meet the spiritual needs of the congregation,
those struggling with mental health issues.

Oh God, bringer of Love and Truth to our world, help us remember “We are not alone” for You brought the Christ into our world to walk with us. As Christ holds us up in love and faith, let us lift one another up through word and deed during the storm. Let us be calm, gentle and kind to ourselves and to one another.. Let “we are in this together” be our battle cry and help us find peace of mind to combat the bearers of hate around us.

In the name of Jesus – who chose to be born and live amidst us, to love us and to die for us – for these things and more we pray.

COMMUNION and HOLY GRAPES

I have no wine or bread. All I have are these grapes. They haven’t been blessed by the pastors, or prayed over before communion. I cannot consecrate the grapes myself, but I am in God’s Garden, and all that is here, including the grapes, are holy.

I think about my beloved family and friends. I miss my pastors and my church, and the love that come with the practice of communion together. . May God’s blessings begin to illumine our hearts, cutting through the despair, the fear, and the hate in this world. May we together find the faith and love to be a light to one another in these dark times.

Amen.

A note: Holy Grapes, a solo worship service will continue throughout this quarantine period, rain or shine, in God’s Garden wherever that may be. If you live in the Chapel Hill/Durham area, and want me to show case your own garden during my weekly worship time, please message me. With peace and love…

Rinnie Orr April 30, 2020

Hospitality as Spiritual Practice, Meditations for divided times, Musings at odds, disconnection from nature, drama and conflict, ego, emotion comfort, Forest, identity, liberation, love, mystics, nature, no conflict, no drama, quiet escape, spiritual comfort, spiritual wonderment, spirituality, stephen graham, stillness, systems of oppression, trees, wants and desires, war

Mystic musings: Too much time with the trees!

“As you sit on the hillside, or lie prone under the trees of the forest, or sprawl wet-legged by a mountain stream, the great door, that does not look like a door, opens.”
~Stephen Graham, The Gentle Art of Tramping

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately with trees. Living like a hermit, alone, lost in my own thoughts, I meander in and out of the forest trails near my home. As I hunker down in my home while chaos whirls around the world, I spend more time outside in the quiet, soulfully musing about trees, forests and the soul.

The woods are a quiet escape and I’m grateful to rediscover the part of my soul that rejoices in being in nature. Somehow, it seems that over the past few years, I have disconnected from being in and enjoying nature. How exactly did I let this happen?

I study the trees on my walks. I am amazed at and bewildered by their rooted-ness and stillness. The trees simply exist. There is no drama, no conflict, no ego in the bio-sphere of these woods.

These forest groves simply exist and time has no meaning. Here they stand, even before the indigenous tribes settled these parts. Here they stand, as the white man came, pushed out the indigenous peoples and built the cities around them using slave labor from the stolen people of Africa. Still standing strong, these woods, provide spiritual and emotional comfort during these days of quarantine and isolation.

Trees are solid creatures. I’m not too ashamed to say that I’ve been hugging them on my walks, as human touch is not possible these days. It feels rapturous to wrap my arms around the trees. Feeling the solidness deep into my soul. Gazing up as I hug a tree, I see it’s branches, outstretched and grasping, reaching deep into the sky. Is it also trying to seek divine union with it’s God?

In the woods, alone, away from my familiar routines, I become a person and spiritual seeker outside of my day-to-day identity – that identity forged through all the life experience that has made me “Rinnie” – my family structure, education, the communities I’ve lived in, my work. Multiple identities really, always in flux, depending on where or with whom I interact. Identities I claim for myself, and identities thrust upon my by others in my circle.

However our identities are forged, they do demand things from us – tangible, material things like shelter, money, food, a good job. Identities also demand emotional and psychological things as well – connection, recognition, success, acceptance, and safety. We are often at odds – painful so – with others, competing for the wants identity craves. Wars are built upon identity. Systems of oppression, built on identity. Liberation movements, yes, built around identity.

As I want through the forest and trees, though, off the beaten path at times, all I can hear around me are my own clunky footsteps. These days, those steps seem loud and off-putting to me. My steps echoing those clamoring wants and desires of the things I think I need.

In the quietness of the forest, I begin to see where much of what I desire comes from ego, rather than a deep spiritual place of purpose and connection with God. With much serenity, in this moment, I can let go of the wants and desires. A quiet peace transcends into my heart.

It’s easy to meander and ponder these days. Drama and conflict are minimal, as I am not moving in and out of the communities of people that shape and define who I am. I wonder what all this will mean though, when I’m out of the woods and my home, back to work, back to my communities. Can I take this simple peace I’ve found with me?

Can I bring this sense of spiritual wonderment back with me, and embrace others in love (like I embrace the trees) and see other people as solid creatures as well – arms outstretched, wide, seeking union with their God? Can I really let go of the things that I desire and seek? In 1st Corinthians, the Apostle Paul writes “Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.” When I am back into community, can I be a true vessel of love, letting go of wants, and simply embracing what I already have? Will such letting go free up my energies to be a creative, loving energy in this world, simply seeking to shine God’s kin-dom into this broken world?

To be continued…

XOXOX

Much peace and many blessings, to you and yours, fellow traveler.

Rinnie Orr April 26, 2020

Hospitality as Spiritual Practice, Meditations for divided times, Musings, Seasonal Musings community prayers, distress, God, holy grapes, hope, joy, prayers, scripture, solo worship, solo worship experience

“We Don’t Have to Go it Alone…”

A Holy Grapes Solo Worship Experience

PRELUDE

Today’s garden is at Covenant Place, a independent living and retirement home for seniors on limited incomes. My mom lives here.

In the early hours this morning, I felt no motivation to get up and do my solo worship. It’s been a difficult few days. I’m feeling the effects of the solitude of living alone, and the feelings of sadness, grief, and hopelessness. I have to admit, I’ve been feeling and wondering “what’s the point?” the last few days.

This is what I’m feeling this morning as I struggle to find energy to do this project and solo worship service. As I’m gathering up my books, the grapes, my journal. I call my mom “I’m heading over. I’m not sure I can get out of the house, unless I head your way.”

My mom asks, “Can I join you?” I say “yes.”

A half hour later, I arrive and Mom is already in the garden, waiting for me. Wearing her mask and latex gloves. I let her look for and choose scripture passages, while I begin taking pictures.

TODAY’S READINGS

There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged.
~Romans 5:3-4, The Message Bible

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.
~Hebrews 4:14-16, The Message Bible

IN GOD’S GARDEN

It all feels so heavy. As I talk to people this week, my list of prayers continues to grow and get longer. I confess I let myself zone out a bit this past week, turning to light, meaningless tv shows to keep me company. I acknowledge that this isn’t the person I want to be, but almost all the conversations this week begin with something like “Life’s a bitch right now.” It’s hard, there’s a lot of sadness, and it’s a bit easier to just tune out a bit and not take it all in.

The sadness and depression led me to feel unproductive this week. There have been good things happening, but I’m holding on to the stories and experiences of the people who say to me that they are not doing okay.

No wonder, I’m not finding the energy and self-motivation.

So in order to get out this morning, and break out of this malaise, I decide not to go solo into worship. I call my mom and join her in the garden where she lives. When I arrive, she is ready and we are even met with another guest:

“It Can’t Be Carried Alone”

A response, excerpted from The Universal Christ: How A Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope For, and Believed, by Richard Rohr

“In that moment, I was not sad about any one thing, but about everything…the sadness was focused not on one particular issue, but on all of them at once….it deeply helped to name all this suffering and sadness as the one sadness of God. And I learned I could not hold it alone, but it was a shared experience – which gave me great consolation.
I do believe that the only way out of deep sadness is to go with it and through it. Sometimes I wonder if this is what we mean when we life up the chalice of wine at the Eucharist and say, “Through him, with him, and in him.” I wonder if the only way to spiritually hold suffering – and not let it destroy us – is to recognize that we cannot do it alone.
When I try to heroically do it alone, I slip into distractions, denials, and pretending – and I do not learn suffering’s softening lessons. But when I can find a shared meaning for something, especially if it allows me to love God and others in the same action, God can get me through it. I begin to trust the ambiguous process of life.
When we carry our small suffering in solidarity with the one universal longing of all humanity, it helps keep us from self=pity or self-preoccupation. We know that we are all in this together, and it is just as hard for everybody else.”

THE PRAYERS

Oh Heavenly God, our prayers are many:

For those who are handling elder care of loved ones from a distance because of the pandemic, oh God, hear our prayers.

For friends and loved ones with cancer, heart issues, and other afflictions, oh God, hear our prayer.

For those we lose this week, oh God, hear our prayers.

And let us remember and continue the prayers for:

those within our communities facing surgeries and new diagnoses requiring medical treatments,
the children still separated from their parents at our borders,
our brothers and sisters experiencing incarceration, in need of medical attention and supplies,
new parents and new babies being born right now,
all those out of work, rethinking vocation and careers during these days,
the first responders, doctors, nurses, paramedics, working tirelessly on the front lines,
our religious and spiritual leaders and pastors, working to meet the spiritual needs of the congregation,
those struggling with mental health issues.

God, light and love of our world, we are not alone. We hold one another up and we know “we are all in this together.” We are held in your arms, and we hold one another in ours. As lone individuals it’s too much for us to bear, but as collective members of your community and your body, we persevere and continue on. Collectively, please give us the strength to ride out this storm. for we seek perseverance over despair. Help us find peace of mind in order to be present for one another.

In the name of Jesus – who chose to be born and live amidst us, to love us and to die for us – for these things and more we pray.

COMMUNION and HOLY GRAPES

Amen.